It's here! The book that will melt your panties off and leave you in a heap. If you aren't into girly romance novels, you should probably stop reading right now, the contents of this posting are 18+ in nature. ;)
Here is my review of Elle Quinn Cage's debut novel, potential spoilers ahead! (I won't give away anything tooooooo major. promise, but just in case I'll put the links up here.)
US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NZ6MALS
UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00NZ6MALS?*Version*=1&*entries*=0
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Whenever I read a book in order to beta or give a review, I always always read it twice. Once for enjoyment and once to take notes. Both times I completed it in a matter of hours because it is just too good to put down.
Here is the book blurb: Parker Stratton is a below-average Joe when it comes to talking to women.
He sees an unusual personal ad from a woman who trains men to become better daters, and replies out of idle curiosity.
Little does he know he will decide to go through with the plan, and he learns far more than he realized he would.
As Jess tries to remain passive and emotionally distant, he becomes more obsessed with who she is and why she lives the life she does.
When they accidentally stumble upon each other in "real life" being impersonal is no longer an option.
He comes to learn that she is not all she seems to be, there is far more to her story than he ever expected.
Some of the elements I enjoyed the most were as follows:
I LOVED the male point-of-view the story is told in. You don't see this a lot with romance and when you do it is rarely believable. Parker tells his story and he tells it like a guy would tell it. The character he plays fits the voice of the story.
No one is a virgin. Let's get real here, this happens all the time in romance novels, however it is very, very rare in the real world. I like that this book takes place in the real world.
SURPRISES GALORE. dude. seriously. I tend to think I can predict everything and I did NOT see some of this stuff coming. Like, at all.
Taboo issues. Cage touches on some pretty taboo points without making it scream activism or anything like that, once again, the book takes place in the real world. I love when I can see messages in romance novels especially.
The characters in this book are believable. They are flawed but also have amazing points. They make mistakes. The chemistry between Parker and Tessa is beyond beautiful. The way the plot unfolds is genius, she keeps you hooked to the very end. This book has everything from romance to drama to sadness to crime and even a guy in a tinfoil hat! I highly recommend this for any romance novel lovers! And it is a STEAL at only .99 USD.
Check it out and if you love it as much as I do, share it with your friends and help out a budding author! :)
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
On Suicide.
“Have you ever been in pain & nothing helps? You just hurt so much you literally cant think of anything else & you just think how you’d do anything to make it stop? Yeah, it’s kind of like that.”
"No one would be talking about Robin Williams if he wasn't famous, regular people kill themselves every day and no one hears about it."
This is one of many insensitive things I have seen said on social media today, one of the milder ones, mind you.
You are right, and yet oh so wrong on so many levels. You, social media user who is "sick of hearing" about someone who touched lives here on earth, then left it.
You are right, if Robin Williams was an average Joe, you probably wouldn't have heard about his death, but that is wrong. We should care more, we should hear about the deaths of the many souls lost to suicide every day and we should care, we should cry out, we should be better, live better, and create change because of it.
Because you are right, regular people kill themselves every single day. Sick people, sad people, lonely people. People who have family and friends and people who love them. Depression and suicide is no respecter of persons, it effects the young and old, the rich and poor.
"Robin Williams didn't die of a disease, he died from his choice." I actually saw this on a blog, which shall remain nameless because I really don't want to benefit him with extra "clicks."
Once again, on so many levels, this is so terribly wrong.
Is suicide a choice, yes, technically it is. Is depression a choice? No, it is not.
Someone who commits suicide does so because they cannot see any other choice. It feels like the only choice. They cannot see the good, the bright, the future. Someone who commits suicide is not themselves, they are not thinking clearly, and are not thinking of all the things we all seem to think of when we speculate why a person shouldn't have committed suicide.
Depression is a deep, frightening pit that is difficult to understand if you haven't crawled around in it yourself. You can have people next to you and feel all alone. You feel invisible, or sometimes worse, you feel like a detriment or burden to those around you. It is very easy, in a state of depression to feel like the world would be better off without you. Scary easy.
It's hard to ask for help, and even when you do, it's not always helpful. Some people don't know what to do, or don't believe you, or are critical of you for it, or don't care. People say rude and critical things, or are just completely insensitive and oblivious to how much pain you are in.
Depression is a daily battle, just like any illness. You can have good days and bad days, you can even go into remission and relapse. Depression is not imagined, but entails physical and chemical changes in the body and brain. Science still cannot control it, there is no cure, only treatments, and just like any disease, they are hit or miss from person to person.
Where some people may only require one medication, another may need six. Where one person may get lucky on their first try, some may have to try multiple dosing levels and various drugs to find something that works for them. This is a long, arduous, frustrating process. The side effects can be worse than the symptoms you were having, and many even had "suicidal thoughts or actions" as a side effect. So something people turn to in order to try and curb their depression may be the thing that pushes them over the edge.
I have seen far too many ignorant things posted in the last 24 hours and I am just hoping to shed some light on a situation that is sad and difficult to understand, but shouldn't be ignored or brushed off as an act of selfishness or cowardice.
Selfish people commit suicide every day. Selfless people commit suicide every day. Cowardly people commit suicide every day and brave people commit suicide every day. Depression is no respecter of persons, and their normal "traits" and "personalities" have nothing to do with their "decision" to stop living.
Until you have felt absolutely hopeless, until you have been so in the dark you don't remember what the sun feels like, until you have looked up from the deep slippery pit and seen the distance you had to climb while everything against you tried to make you sink, then don't judge. The pain of depression is like walking through tar, deep and thick, it feels pointless to fight the inevitable sinking. And unfortunately, many do sink.
You don't have to sink, you are not alone, it will get better, it will pass. It's hard to see from the bottom of that pit, but there are people you cannot see right beside you. Reach out to them. Fight. Climb.
If you or someone you know is thinking of suicide, PLEASE seek help. You don't have to do this alone. Call a friend, a family member, go to the hospital, call the suicide hotline, email me (I'm serious) just don't give up.
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Here is a great music video that brings awareness to suicide, and further illustrates that there is no limit on who depression affects.
http://youtu.be/pUqyoCFqBpA
"No one would be talking about Robin Williams if he wasn't famous, regular people kill themselves every day and no one hears about it."
This is one of many insensitive things I have seen said on social media today, one of the milder ones, mind you.
You are right, and yet oh so wrong on so many levels. You, social media user who is "sick of hearing" about someone who touched lives here on earth, then left it.
You are right, if Robin Williams was an average Joe, you probably wouldn't have heard about his death, but that is wrong. We should care more, we should hear about the deaths of the many souls lost to suicide every day and we should care, we should cry out, we should be better, live better, and create change because of it.
Because you are right, regular people kill themselves every single day. Sick people, sad people, lonely people. People who have family and friends and people who love them. Depression and suicide is no respecter of persons, it effects the young and old, the rich and poor.
"Robin Williams didn't die of a disease, he died from his choice." I actually saw this on a blog, which shall remain nameless because I really don't want to benefit him with extra "clicks."
Once again, on so many levels, this is so terribly wrong.
Is suicide a choice, yes, technically it is. Is depression a choice? No, it is not.
Someone who commits suicide does so because they cannot see any other choice. It feels like the only choice. They cannot see the good, the bright, the future. Someone who commits suicide is not themselves, they are not thinking clearly, and are not thinking of all the things we all seem to think of when we speculate why a person shouldn't have committed suicide.
Depression is a deep, frightening pit that is difficult to understand if you haven't crawled around in it yourself. You can have people next to you and feel all alone. You feel invisible, or sometimes worse, you feel like a detriment or burden to those around you. It is very easy, in a state of depression to feel like the world would be better off without you. Scary easy.
It's hard to ask for help, and even when you do, it's not always helpful. Some people don't know what to do, or don't believe you, or are critical of you for it, or don't care. People say rude and critical things, or are just completely insensitive and oblivious to how much pain you are in.
Depression is a daily battle, just like any illness. You can have good days and bad days, you can even go into remission and relapse. Depression is not imagined, but entails physical and chemical changes in the body and brain. Science still cannot control it, there is no cure, only treatments, and just like any disease, they are hit or miss from person to person.
Where some people may only require one medication, another may need six. Where one person may get lucky on their first try, some may have to try multiple dosing levels and various drugs to find something that works for them. This is a long, arduous, frustrating process. The side effects can be worse than the symptoms you were having, and many even had "suicidal thoughts or actions" as a side effect. So something people turn to in order to try and curb their depression may be the thing that pushes them over the edge.
I have seen far too many ignorant things posted in the last 24 hours and I am just hoping to shed some light on a situation that is sad and difficult to understand, but shouldn't be ignored or brushed off as an act of selfishness or cowardice.
Selfish people commit suicide every day. Selfless people commit suicide every day. Cowardly people commit suicide every day and brave people commit suicide every day. Depression is no respecter of persons, and their normal "traits" and "personalities" have nothing to do with their "decision" to stop living.
Until you have felt absolutely hopeless, until you have been so in the dark you don't remember what the sun feels like, until you have looked up from the deep slippery pit and seen the distance you had to climb while everything against you tried to make you sink, then don't judge. The pain of depression is like walking through tar, deep and thick, it feels pointless to fight the inevitable sinking. And unfortunately, many do sink.
You don't have to sink, you are not alone, it will get better, it will pass. It's hard to see from the bottom of that pit, but there are people you cannot see right beside you. Reach out to them. Fight. Climb.
If you or someone you know is thinking of suicide, PLEASE seek help. You don't have to do this alone. Call a friend, a family member, go to the hospital, call the suicide hotline, email me (I'm serious) just don't give up.
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Here is a great music video that brings awareness to suicide, and further illustrates that there is no limit on who depression affects.
http://youtu.be/pUqyoCFqBpA
Rest in Peace, Robin. You will be missed.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Free book Saturdays!!
Hello!!
Reed sold exceptionally well over the weekend so I have decided to do 2 more back to back Saturdays to get Reed free! This Saturday and next, Reed will be available for a free download across the globe on the Kindle Marketplace.
I would like to thank all of you people for its amazing success so far. It has only been out for three months and has sold far more than I ever expected! This is thanks to all the many people who have pimped me out on social media, read, and left me amazing reviews. I love you all and I sure hope you keep doing what you're doing. I owe you for making my dreams come true.
Here are your links!
US: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi
UK: http://goo.gl/7RclA0
Please share/tweet/facebook/pimp this out as much as possible because I would love to give as many away as possible!
Thanks again!
Reed sold exceptionally well over the weekend so I have decided to do 2 more back to back Saturdays to get Reed free! This Saturday and next, Reed will be available for a free download across the globe on the Kindle Marketplace.
I would like to thank all of you people for its amazing success so far. It has only been out for three months and has sold far more than I ever expected! This is thanks to all the many people who have pimped me out on social media, read, and left me amazing reviews. I love you all and I sure hope you keep doing what you're doing. I owe you for making my dreams come true.
Here are your links!
US: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi
UK: http://goo.gl/7RclA0
Please share/tweet/facebook/pimp this out as much as possible because I would love to give as many away as possible!
Thanks again!
Friday, July 18, 2014
Free Ebook!
Reed has been updated with a fresh new cover and will be free this weekend (July 19th & 20th). Please be sure to download it and share the information with all of your friends/social networks. Thank you!
Links:
U.S. http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi
U.K. http://goo.gl/7RclA0
Links:
U.S. http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi
U.K. http://goo.gl/7RclA0
Monday, July 14, 2014
The Challenge Update
Hello!
I told you all a while back about my 30 in 30 every month challenge, in which I challenged myself to write 30k words a month for 12 months straight. I am happy to update that I am still on track and finished the first draft of another novel this month! I am hoping to finish one more but of course inspiration has struck and that means I am also starting another. I hope I can at least try to finish one a month if I am also going to be starting one a month (or sometimes two).
What am I working on?
A fantasy
A Sci-Fi
A couple of very different romances, though all fairly mild (Think more Nick Sparks and less E.L. James)
Some are stand-alones
Some have sequels
I've also dabbled in the idea of a sort-of sequel to Reed (purchase the first here: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi) in which you would see the main characters about 3 years later and what is going on in their lives, and would change to a Sam-focused POV. Not everyone would be in it, and I would write it so they could be read together or separately. I would love to have some feedback on this idea, I will probably write it regardless, but I don't want to go through the work of publishing if no one wants to read it, you know?
Keep encouraging me (I need it!) and thank you to all the people who are always giving me support and helping me be brave enough to talk about this huge part of me which has remained a hidden one for too long.
I told you all a while back about my 30 in 30 every month challenge, in which I challenged myself to write 30k words a month for 12 months straight. I am happy to update that I am still on track and finished the first draft of another novel this month! I am hoping to finish one more but of course inspiration has struck and that means I am also starting another. I hope I can at least try to finish one a month if I am also going to be starting one a month (or sometimes two).
What am I working on?
A fantasy
A Sci-Fi
A couple of very different romances, though all fairly mild (Think more Nick Sparks and less E.L. James)
Some are stand-alones
Some have sequels
I've also dabbled in the idea of a sort-of sequel to Reed (purchase the first here: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi) in which you would see the main characters about 3 years later and what is going on in their lives, and would change to a Sam-focused POV. Not everyone would be in it, and I would write it so they could be read together or separately. I would love to have some feedback on this idea, I will probably write it regardless, but I don't want to go through the work of publishing if no one wants to read it, you know?
Keep encouraging me (I need it!) and thank you to all the people who are always giving me support and helping me be brave enough to talk about this huge part of me which has remained a hidden one for too long.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Be careful what you wish for: Some thoughts on adoption
First off I want to say that I come from an adoptive household, I grew up in the culture of adoption, many of my closest friends are adopted, and my husband & I hope we will one day be able to add to our family through adoption. I understand the pain an adoptive family goes through when a child they fall in love with will not be theirs after all. I have been there. I understand that desire to be able to do something when your hands are tied. I really do.
I also understand the pain and heartache of a birth family wrestling with the decision on whether or not to give up their child, to try and make the call on where they will have their best chance and be brave enough to make the decision.
I understand the ugliness of situations in which mommies or daddies (or both) don't get to make the decision, but the decision is made for them and their babies are taken away.
Through friends and family and in my personal life I have been touched by situations like this, and I take none of them lightly. Not a single one. I am totally about to call one of you out, though, and it is you whom I share the closest relation to: the waiting adoptive parent.
You want a child, I get it. You want to be a forever family, that's awesome. It really is. I am sure you love that child, seen or unseen. I am sure you assume (like every parent does) that you know what is best for this child.
I have noticed a huge trend in the adoption community, among waiting parents & foster parents, that are hoping, encouraging hope for, praying, etc. that their child's biological parents won't show up. I'm talking about situations where perhaps the child was removed from a home or not allowed to go home in the first place for one reason or another. These parents are usually given extensive opportunities to get their "act" together before their child becomes "adoptable." The goal is to ideally reunite families, and is actually the basis and goal behind foster care (go figure!)
I regularly (regrettably so) see posts such as "Fingers crossed birth dad won't show to visitation" or "Pray mom doesn't come to court hearing today." You get the picture. And I get it, I do, the dad is awful, the mom is strung out, blah blah blah. Here are 2 simple facts to consider, before you act like this is such an obvious thing to hope for.
1. No matter how great this adoption will be for you, not being wanted will never, ever feel like a good thing to your child.
2. No matter what, they are still part of your child's story.
There, I said it. I am sorry. You could be the best parent ever, but when your adopted child grows up, you will still only be one piece of their story. They will have to come to terms with the fact that they were not wanted. They will have to learn to accept the fact that God gave them to someone, and they returned them. They will have to process the hurt that is associated with being given away. Do you really want them to also have to deal with all this and know it is what you hoped for, what you prayed for? Do you really want, when your child is in their deepest point of processing, to feel like you wished this on them?
Not only that but what if one day your child reconnects with their biological parent. How do you know they won't get their act together eventually and want a relationship? You don't, and selfishly sabotaging your child's biological parent through your actions, words, prayers, etc. is wrong.
Adoption is hard for everyone involved, everyone. Acting as though this, these decisions, are not going to effect your child in the future is not only ignorant, it's selfish. You don't know people, their potential, their future, their struggles, or where they came from. You can assume, you can read reports, but no one really knows the full truth but them.
Your job is to be there for your child, to think of them first and yourself last. Your job is to hope they get their best possible chance at life, and not assume it's you. Your job is to be there every step of the way, however many steps you are given.
Every decision you make today will effect your child tomorrow (this goes for any parent). Make smart decisions, choose your words wisely, and be careful what you wish for. Realize your silent wish today could be your child's nightmare tomorrow.
I hope I was able to make your wheels turn and help you think about how you are approaching. your child's unique "story." We're all stories in the end.
I also understand the pain and heartache of a birth family wrestling with the decision on whether or not to give up their child, to try and make the call on where they will have their best chance and be brave enough to make the decision.
I understand the ugliness of situations in which mommies or daddies (or both) don't get to make the decision, but the decision is made for them and their babies are taken away.
Through friends and family and in my personal life I have been touched by situations like this, and I take none of them lightly. Not a single one. I am totally about to call one of you out, though, and it is you whom I share the closest relation to: the waiting adoptive parent.
You want a child, I get it. You want to be a forever family, that's awesome. It really is. I am sure you love that child, seen or unseen. I am sure you assume (like every parent does) that you know what is best for this child.
I have noticed a huge trend in the adoption community, among waiting parents & foster parents, that are hoping, encouraging hope for, praying, etc. that their child's biological parents won't show up. I'm talking about situations where perhaps the child was removed from a home or not allowed to go home in the first place for one reason or another. These parents are usually given extensive opportunities to get their "act" together before their child becomes "adoptable." The goal is to ideally reunite families, and is actually the basis and goal behind foster care (go figure!)
I regularly (regrettably so) see posts such as "Fingers crossed birth dad won't show to visitation" or "Pray mom doesn't come to court hearing today." You get the picture. And I get it, I do, the dad is awful, the mom is strung out, blah blah blah. Here are 2 simple facts to consider, before you act like this is such an obvious thing to hope for.
1. No matter how great this adoption will be for you, not being wanted will never, ever feel like a good thing to your child.
2. No matter what, they are still part of your child's story.
There, I said it. I am sorry. You could be the best parent ever, but when your adopted child grows up, you will still only be one piece of their story. They will have to come to terms with the fact that they were not wanted. They will have to learn to accept the fact that God gave them to someone, and they returned them. They will have to process the hurt that is associated with being given away. Do you really want them to also have to deal with all this and know it is what you hoped for, what you prayed for? Do you really want, when your child is in their deepest point of processing, to feel like you wished this on them?
Not only that but what if one day your child reconnects with their biological parent. How do you know they won't get their act together eventually and want a relationship? You don't, and selfishly sabotaging your child's biological parent through your actions, words, prayers, etc. is wrong.
Adoption is hard for everyone involved, everyone. Acting as though this, these decisions, are not going to effect your child in the future is not only ignorant, it's selfish. You don't know people, their potential, their future, their struggles, or where they came from. You can assume, you can read reports, but no one really knows the full truth but them.
Your job is to be there for your child, to think of them first and yourself last. Your job is to hope they get their best possible chance at life, and not assume it's you. Your job is to be there every step of the way, however many steps you are given.
Every decision you make today will effect your child tomorrow (this goes for any parent). Make smart decisions, choose your words wisely, and be careful what you wish for. Realize your silent wish today could be your child's nightmare tomorrow.
I hope I was able to make your wheels turn and help you think about how you are approaching. your child's unique "story." We're all stories in the end.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Certain things should not be made into Pillow Pets...
Pillow Pets-- a great idea in theory until someone made it weird. Now you can get a pillow pet of just about anything. Here are some examples of things that should NOT have been made into pillow pets...
Category one: Non-Four-Legged Creatures...
This isn't awful...it's not good either.
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Eagles have wings...and talons...not 4 legs...
Who thought this was a good idea?
Category 2: Things that are things or things that you don't know what they are:
A baseball. But with legs. And a Mustache.
Michelin man or ghost? Who's to say?
I can't even venture a guess...
Category 3: People; real or fictional. No. Just no.
Any of these poorly depicted athletes:
.jpg)
Stewie, No.
Shrek is not a person, but you can't say this is okay...
I might have expected this from these guys:
BUT SANTA!?!?!?!
And Dora, get off your knees and go to school!
Then there is Mickey Mouse, who is a little bit of all of these:
Just say no, Mickey...
Hope you got a laugh, if you did please pass it on! :) I got all the images from the internet and don't own any of them, I don't work for or against pillow pets or any conglomerates there of...blah blah blah... Here is a pillow pet I strongly approve of:
Heck yes!
Category one: Non-Four-Legged Creatures...
This isn't awful...it's not good either.
Eagles have wings...and talons...not 4 legs...
Who thought this was a good idea?
Category 2: Things that are things or things that you don't know what they are:
A baseball. But with legs. And a Mustache.
Michelin man or ghost? Who's to say?
I can't even venture a guess...
Category 3: People; real or fictional. No. Just no.
Any of these poorly depicted athletes:
Stewie, No.
Shrek is not a person, but you can't say this is okay...
I might have expected this from these guys:
BUT SANTA!?!?!?!
And Dora, get off your knees and go to school!
Then there is Mickey Mouse, who is a little bit of all of these:
Just say no, Mickey...
Hope you got a laugh, if you did please pass it on! :) I got all the images from the internet and don't own any of them, I don't work for or against pillow pets or any conglomerates there of...blah blah blah... Here is a pillow pet I strongly approve of:
Heck yes!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Book blogging.
Hello all!
I would like to start doing 2-3 book reviews per month. I will be doing them on a simple 1-5 star basis and my reviews will be spoiler-free. I will also do some author interviews for willing participants with 4-5 star ratings. If you would like me to review your book (or know someone who would) please contact me via G+ (see widget above) or on Twitter (@AlleySaltz).
Genres I like (though am not limited to) are:
Romance
drama
fantasy
chick lit
sci fi
self help
historical fiction
various nonfiction.
I DO NOT read Horror, that's the only one that is all out. I will consider any other book/genre but this one. Please send me a brief description along with the length of your book and if it is a series and I will contact you to let you know if I am in.
Thanks & please pass it on! :)
I would like to start doing 2-3 book reviews per month. I will be doing them on a simple 1-5 star basis and my reviews will be spoiler-free. I will also do some author interviews for willing participants with 4-5 star ratings. If you would like me to review your book (or know someone who would) please contact me via G+ (see widget above) or on Twitter (@AlleySaltz).
Genres I like (though am not limited to) are:
Romance
drama
fantasy
chick lit
sci fi
self help
historical fiction
various nonfiction.
I DO NOT read Horror, that's the only one that is all out. I will consider any other book/genre but this one. Please send me a brief description along with the length of your book and if it is a series and I will contact you to let you know if I am in.
Thanks & please pass it on! :)
Monday, June 23, 2014
3 fundamental truths we should all believe in.
When you are a child you are told several things as if they are undeniable truths. As we grow older, we lose faith in these truths and many people even begin to consider them to be lies.
For some reason, I missed the memo to stop believing them, and live by 3 main fundamental beliefs.
1. You can do anything you put your mind to.
I actually believe this. The power of will is far stronger than any of us truly know, and I have proved to myself over and over again (and have seen others prove) that this is true. If you are willing to fight for something, work hard for something, and make it happen for yourself, it will happen.
I have 2 bucket lists; a realistic bucket list, which I really and truly would like to accomplish before my time on this earth is up, and an unrealistic bucket list, full of things I would love to do but aren't necessarily terribly feasible.
Some examples from my bucket list: Learn to surf, write a best seller, get more tattoos...
Some examples from my unrealistic bucket list: Star in a movie, attend the Oscars, have a lip-sync battle with Jimmy Fallon.
2. The only opinion that matters is yours.
Now keep in mind, not about EVERYTHING, just opinions about YOU.
If I hate myself, who I am or who I have become and everyone else loves me, it really doesn't matter because I will still be miserable. Likewise, if I am happy with who I am but others dislike me, that doesn't really matter either, as long as I am being true to myself (and myself is not a jerk).
3. Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means you're standing alone.
Neville Longbottom is one of my favorite characters in Harry Potter because despite his gumpy and awkward ways, he always had a true sense of who he was. He stood up for what he believed in from book one, even if people disliked him for it. Ten points to Gryffindor.
We no longer live in a society where people are encouraged to stand up for what they believe in, especially if the majority disagrees. I honestly admire people who are willing to do this, even when I don't agree with their opinion, I know how much courage it takes to stand up for yourself on big or small scales.
I have had (unfortunately) several experiences in adulthood where I see people who are strongly morally against something, defend it because someone they love was doing it. I am not that kind of person. If I love you and I think you are making a mistake, I am going to tell you, because I would rather you feel hurt by my words than get hurt by your own actions and have regrets.
Don't get me wrong, I am not the type of person who goes up to random strangers and tells them how to live their lives, but if I KNOW you, and I see you running toward a metaphorical cliff, you can count on it that I'm going to tell you. You can take it or leave it, but I feel like it's my responsibility to say SOMETHING.
So that's it, those are my fundamental beliefs, my rules of life as it were, and I think if we could reawaken ourselves to believe in them, we would be a far more beautiful and productive society.
For some reason, I missed the memo to stop believing them, and live by 3 main fundamental beliefs.
1. You can do anything you put your mind to.
I actually believe this. The power of will is far stronger than any of us truly know, and I have proved to myself over and over again (and have seen others prove) that this is true. If you are willing to fight for something, work hard for something, and make it happen for yourself, it will happen.
I have 2 bucket lists; a realistic bucket list, which I really and truly would like to accomplish before my time on this earth is up, and an unrealistic bucket list, full of things I would love to do but aren't necessarily terribly feasible.
Some examples from my bucket list: Learn to surf, write a best seller, get more tattoos...
Some examples from my unrealistic bucket list: Star in a movie, attend the Oscars, have a lip-sync battle with Jimmy Fallon.
2. The only opinion that matters is yours.
Now keep in mind, not about EVERYTHING, just opinions about YOU.
If I hate myself, who I am or who I have become and everyone else loves me, it really doesn't matter because I will still be miserable. Likewise, if I am happy with who I am but others dislike me, that doesn't really matter either, as long as I am being true to myself (and myself is not a jerk).
3. Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means you're standing alone.
Neville Longbottom is one of my favorite characters in Harry Potter because despite his gumpy and awkward ways, he always had a true sense of who he was. He stood up for what he believed in from book one, even if people disliked him for it. Ten points to Gryffindor.
We no longer live in a society where people are encouraged to stand up for what they believe in, especially if the majority disagrees. I honestly admire people who are willing to do this, even when I don't agree with their opinion, I know how much courage it takes to stand up for yourself on big or small scales.
I have had (unfortunately) several experiences in adulthood where I see people who are strongly morally against something, defend it because someone they love was doing it. I am not that kind of person. If I love you and I think you are making a mistake, I am going to tell you, because I would rather you feel hurt by my words than get hurt by your own actions and have regrets.
Don't get me wrong, I am not the type of person who goes up to random strangers and tells them how to live their lives, but if I KNOW you, and I see you running toward a metaphorical cliff, you can count on it that I'm going to tell you. You can take it or leave it, but I feel like it's my responsibility to say SOMETHING.
So that's it, those are my fundamental beliefs, my rules of life as it were, and I think if we could reawaken ourselves to believe in them, we would be a far more beautiful and productive society.
Friday, June 20, 2014
June adventures; Beta reading
Just stopping by for an update on my progress.
June has been one of the most difficult months since I set my goal. For one of the first times in my life, I had serious writer's block for over a week.
I did everything I could think of to kill it, but it just wasn't happening, and I was at a transitional point in all 3 of my works-in-progress. (yes, THREE)
This was pretty much me:
I did things I don't normally have time for, like...clean...and cook healthy meals...
I finally DID get over it, thankfully, and am caught up on my word count-- for now, but I did order some "performance-enhancing drugs" AKA some ENVISION essential oil this month just to keep the juices flowing, just in case, because:
In other news, Elle Quinn Cage (Find her on Twitter @ElleQuinnCage) is writing a romance novel, and I have been privileged with the honor of beta reading/editing it for her.
She's hoping to release by September (which happens to be when I am also hoping to release Make a Wish) and I just have to hyper her a little bit here.
If you like steamy romance, this book has it. Thick plot? check. Twists & surprises? Double check.
This is not your cliche, dark broody man is fixed by the girl next door kind of story, but is a completely different take.
It has far more realistic elements than many other romance novels I've read, which I love because it helps you get lost in the story more easily.
I am probably giving away too much, but anyway, I will be giving a full review in September when it's released, but stay tuned because this baby is going to be good!!
Also, if you or someone you know is a BETA READER or a BOOK BLOGGER, feel free to contact either me or Elle if you would be interested in reading/reviewing our upcoming works. Mine is a (non-erotic) romance, Elle's is a steamy romance, and both are ready for their beta phase!
June has been one of the most difficult months since I set my goal. For one of the first times in my life, I had serious writer's block for over a week.
I did everything I could think of to kill it, but it just wasn't happening, and I was at a transitional point in all 3 of my works-in-progress. (yes, THREE)
This was pretty much me:
I finally DID get over it, thankfully, and am caught up on my word count-- for now, but I did order some "performance-enhancing drugs" AKA some ENVISION essential oil this month just to keep the juices flowing, just in case, because:
In other news, Elle Quinn Cage (Find her on Twitter @ElleQuinnCage) is writing a romance novel, and I have been privileged with the honor of beta reading/editing it for her.
She's hoping to release by September (which happens to be when I am also hoping to release Make a Wish) and I just have to hyper her a little bit here.
If you like steamy romance, this book has it. Thick plot? check. Twists & surprises? Double check.
This is not your cliche, dark broody man is fixed by the girl next door kind of story, but is a completely different take.
It has far more realistic elements than many other romance novels I've read, which I love because it helps you get lost in the story more easily.
I am probably giving away too much, but anyway, I will be giving a full review in September when it's released, but stay tuned because this baby is going to be good!!
Also, if you or someone you know is a BETA READER or a BOOK BLOGGER, feel free to contact either me or Elle if you would be interested in reading/reviewing our upcoming works. Mine is a (non-erotic) romance, Elle's is a steamy romance, and both are ready for their beta phase!
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
360 in 365
With the turn of the year January 1st, I did something I had never done before; I made a New Year's resolution.
I have set goals in the past but I rarely do resolutions since most people break them by valentine's day anyway.
So my resolution was simply this: to write more.
When I was a kid and all through high school I wrote all the time, and when I went to college I planned to major in English and become a writer. Life happened, however and with that, I stopped writing. I went through a solid five year writing drought where the only things I wrote were for assignments.
I missed it though, and I decided 2014 was the year of Alley, since 14 has always been my favorite number.
I wrote in January, started Reed, and eventually finished it in early February. When I realized what I was capable of, I decided to better define my resolution to "write more."
I joined a small facebook group collaboration called 30 in 30, whose goal is to write 30k words in 30 days, three times a year. This is similar to the goal of Nanowrimo to write 50k words in the month of November. Instead of only doing it a few months out of the year, though, I decided to really push myself and try to do 30 in 30 every month of 2014.
This is month six, and, in case you are wondering, blog posts don't count. If I am successful, I will write 360,000 words this year. Keep in mind, 30k is only the minimum quota for the month, and if I finish early, I keep writing. I ended off May with a whopping 56,333.
So why am I telling you all of this? Because, my friends, I need your encouragement. I know there will be moments when I lose steam or feel like giving up, and I have the sinking feeling about 3 days out of the month that I am complete and utter rubbish, wanting to scrap everything I have ever written and taking Reed off the market.
I need encouragers, you see.
The second reason is, I need Beta Readers! I am averaging a novel every 2-3 months and need people to read, proofread, and give me constructive feed back!
If you would be interested in helping in this capacity, contact me via Twitter @AlleySaltz or on G+
I know I am not the best writer, but I want to continue to grow and get better, and the more I write, the more I get sucked into the magical worlds I can create with my words.
Thank you for reading.
Alley
I have set goals in the past but I rarely do resolutions since most people break them by valentine's day anyway.
So my resolution was simply this: to write more.
When I was a kid and all through high school I wrote all the time, and when I went to college I planned to major in English and become a writer. Life happened, however and with that, I stopped writing. I went through a solid five year writing drought where the only things I wrote were for assignments.
I missed it though, and I decided 2014 was the year of Alley, since 14 has always been my favorite number.
I wrote in January, started Reed, and eventually finished it in early February. When I realized what I was capable of, I decided to better define my resolution to "write more."
I joined a small facebook group collaboration called 30 in 30, whose goal is to write 30k words in 30 days, three times a year. This is similar to the goal of Nanowrimo to write 50k words in the month of November. Instead of only doing it a few months out of the year, though, I decided to really push myself and try to do 30 in 30 every month of 2014.
This is month six, and, in case you are wondering, blog posts don't count. If I am successful, I will write 360,000 words this year. Keep in mind, 30k is only the minimum quota for the month, and if I finish early, I keep writing. I ended off May with a whopping 56,333.
So why am I telling you all of this? Because, my friends, I need your encouragement. I know there will be moments when I lose steam or feel like giving up, and I have the sinking feeling about 3 days out of the month that I am complete and utter rubbish, wanting to scrap everything I have ever written and taking Reed off the market.
I need encouragers, you see.
The second reason is, I need Beta Readers! I am averaging a novel every 2-3 months and need people to read, proofread, and give me constructive feed back!
If you would be interested in helping in this capacity, contact me via Twitter @AlleySaltz or on G+
I know I am not the best writer, but I want to continue to grow and get better, and the more I write, the more I get sucked into the magical worlds I can create with my words.
Thank you for reading.
Alley
Monday, May 19, 2014
Kindle Countdown Deal
Kindle Countdown Deals!
Hello all! My book “Reed” is on sale right now as part of the Kindle countdown deals and can be purchased for only .99 until the 24th.
Get it here: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi
Also, Tuesday (May 20th) is my birthday, and buying, sharing, and rating my book 5 stars on Amazon or good reads would all be really nice presents ;) Teehee. Ok but for real, help a sista out?
Thanks lovelies!
Friday, April 18, 2014
Reed- Review
Hello! Just popping by to post a link for one of the first Reed book reviews! Don't forget you can buy it today and read it instantly here: US: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi UK: http://goo.gl/7RclA0
Enjoy!
Reed by Allison Saltz
My book is now available on the Kindle marketplace all over the globe! Please consider buying it, sharing info about it today with others, and rating it 5 stars! Here she is:
US: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi
UK: http://goo.gl/7RclA0
US: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi
UK: http://goo.gl/7RclA0
Friday, April 11, 2014
T minus one week
Ok Y'all it is only 1 week until the big release of my book.
I got the go-ahead from copyright, I have reviewed what the book will look like on different platforms, chosen my desired marketing approaches, am at the end of my author interviews for the other bloggers who are helping me out, the cover is done and set on, and the text has been picked through with a fine tooth comb.
I can't say I am not nervous, because I really am. In spite of that though I have this horrible feeling it is going to do really well. I know, this should be a good thing, but I cannot shake it and what if I'm wrong?
I guess now it is just a game of wait and see. In the mean time, what can you do to help?
1. From April 18th on, please use hashtag #readreed to help it trend
2. Post on facebook, tweet, text, and talk about Reed to your friends. Once the info is out there hopefully it will spread, help me get it out there! If you have a blog, blog about it and let me know, I will share it on my twitter/etc.
3. Leave a positive review. Of course you have to like it to do this, this one can also be translated as don't leave a negative review. follow the "if you can't say something nice" rule here. Its not that I am afraid of criticism, its just that bad reviews early in the game can make or break a book. If its not everyone's cup of tea (which I know it won't be) that is totally fine.
4. Buy it. Yeah, that would help. It will be starting at 2.99. That's less than most people pay for their morning coffee.
5. Pray for me. This would also be appreciated. Or send positive thoughts, or whatever it is you do.
Thank you so much for your continued love & support!! See you all again with a link April 18th!
I got the go-ahead from copyright, I have reviewed what the book will look like on different platforms, chosen my desired marketing approaches, am at the end of my author interviews for the other bloggers who are helping me out, the cover is done and set on, and the text has been picked through with a fine tooth comb.
I can't say I am not nervous, because I really am. In spite of that though I have this horrible feeling it is going to do really well. I know, this should be a good thing, but I cannot shake it and what if I'm wrong?
I guess now it is just a game of wait and see. In the mean time, what can you do to help?
1. From April 18th on, please use hashtag #readreed to help it trend
2. Post on facebook, tweet, text, and talk about Reed to your friends. Once the info is out there hopefully it will spread, help me get it out there! If you have a blog, blog about it and let me know, I will share it on my twitter/etc.
3. Leave a positive review. Of course you have to like it to do this, this one can also be translated as don't leave a negative review. follow the "if you can't say something nice" rule here. Its not that I am afraid of criticism, its just that bad reviews early in the game can make or break a book. If its not everyone's cup of tea (which I know it won't be) that is totally fine.
4. Buy it. Yeah, that would help. It will be starting at 2.99. That's less than most people pay for their morning coffee.
5. Pray for me. This would also be appreciated. Or send positive thoughts, or whatever it is you do.
Thank you so much for your continued love & support!! See you all again with a link April 18th!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
I need bloggers!
Hello!
I am currently seeking book review bloggers to review/talk about my book which is being released next month. You will receive a free digital copy of the book and I ask you state the release date (Most of the people I have so far will be publishing their post on the release date) and a link to the book on the Kindle store.
It is a romantic/crime/drama type book so if this isn't the sort of thing you typically read, this is probably not for you.
Feel free to message/email/comment/call/text/tweet/carrier pigeon/smoke signal me if you are interested. The more followers you have the better, and the further you are from Michigan the better also!
Thanks!
I am currently seeking book review bloggers to review/talk about my book which is being released next month. You will receive a free digital copy of the book and I ask you state the release date (Most of the people I have so far will be publishing their post on the release date) and a link to the book on the Kindle store.
It is a romantic/crime/drama type book so if this isn't the sort of thing you typically read, this is probably not for you.
Feel free to message/email/comment/call/text/tweet/carrier pigeon/smoke signal me if you are interested. The more followers you have the better, and the further you are from Michigan the better also!
Thanks!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
The fear in me.
Artists are the most insecure while simultaneously being the most egotistical people in the universe. This is true of every artist I have ever met, not matter their art form.
I am all artist. I love all art, if it's artsy; I want to do it. I love crafts, I love painting, I love music and singing (in the shower, not for real humans) and I love writing.
No matter what form of art I am doing, I am always tempted to keep it to myself. I did photography for a long time before I felt "safe" showing others what I could do, and even now, I sometimes feel certain things are not good enough to show others.
Showing your art, in any form, to others is like opening up your soul to them, whether you or they realize it or not. I pour my heart and soul into anything I do, and when it is something I have created, I love it like I love the children I created.
I have been writing stories since I had the ability to write. I wrote my first "novel" at 9 years old. I haven't shared my writing (outside of blog form) with anyone since I was 14. That means it has been almost 11 years since another soul has read any of my fiction.
This scares the crap out of me.
I have had editors, marketers, writers, and readers beta read my book for feedback and it has been the most nerve racking experience of my life.
In a few short weeks my book will be released. People will buy it, they will read it, and they will have opinions. Can I handle that? My name will be on this book and people I know will see it and read it simply because I wrote it. Will they be kind?
This book is NOT everyone's cup of tea, I know this. It deals with a lot of tough subjects and has some language, something I know a lot of my family may judge me for.
I have been battling with a great deal of fear and insecurity leading up to the release, and I honestly don't think there is anything I can do to make this feeling go away, or to avoid it. If I publish more, I will likely still get this feeling.
Guess what, it doesn't matter.
This is my dream, and I am going after it. I have wanted to be a published author since I was 7, and I am about to be one. People may have opinions about what I wrote about, or how I wrote it, or anything else, and that's ok. This isn't there dream, its mine. They will not regret it if I don't write books, but I will. They will not go crazy with the stories swirling in their mind, I will.
This is my story, and I am writing it the way I feel led. God has given me this gift and it would be wrong not to use it in the way I feel led.
I thank you all for your love and support and hope you will consider purchasing it when it comes out, but if not, I will understand.
I am all artist. I love all art, if it's artsy; I want to do it. I love crafts, I love painting, I love music and singing (in the shower, not for real humans) and I love writing.
No matter what form of art I am doing, I am always tempted to keep it to myself. I did photography for a long time before I felt "safe" showing others what I could do, and even now, I sometimes feel certain things are not good enough to show others.
Showing your art, in any form, to others is like opening up your soul to them, whether you or they realize it or not. I pour my heart and soul into anything I do, and when it is something I have created, I love it like I love the children I created.
I have been writing stories since I had the ability to write. I wrote my first "novel" at 9 years old. I haven't shared my writing (outside of blog form) with anyone since I was 14. That means it has been almost 11 years since another soul has read any of my fiction.
This scares the crap out of me.
I have had editors, marketers, writers, and readers beta read my book for feedback and it has been the most nerve racking experience of my life.
In a few short weeks my book will be released. People will buy it, they will read it, and they will have opinions. Can I handle that? My name will be on this book and people I know will see it and read it simply because I wrote it. Will they be kind?
This book is NOT everyone's cup of tea, I know this. It deals with a lot of tough subjects and has some language, something I know a lot of my family may judge me for.
I have been battling with a great deal of fear and insecurity leading up to the release, and I honestly don't think there is anything I can do to make this feeling go away, or to avoid it. If I publish more, I will likely still get this feeling.
Guess what, it doesn't matter.
This is my dream, and I am going after it. I have wanted to be a published author since I was 7, and I am about to be one. People may have opinions about what I wrote about, or how I wrote it, or anything else, and that's ok. This isn't there dream, its mine. They will not regret it if I don't write books, but I will. They will not go crazy with the stories swirling in their mind, I will.
This is my story, and I am writing it the way I feel led. God has given me this gift and it would be wrong not to use it in the way I feel led.
I thank you all for your love and support and hope you will consider purchasing it when it comes out, but if not, I will understand.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Update:
Copyright process for the book has begun and once it is through we can set/announce an official release date. This will likely be sometime in March or early April since we are releasing electronically to start off and all the major editing is done. We are declaring May 20 as the official "Read Reed" day. We are asking everyone to use hashtag #ReadReed to help promote the book. It would be very appreciated!
Thanks loves <3
Thanks loves <3
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Things that happen when your kids share....
We discovered Captain America oversees the Disney Princess Monster Truck Rally's.
Robin and Ariel can be found in the castle some nights, whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears.
Sully occasionally exploits Clarice.
And Batman is a Brony.
A very curious Brony...
Thankfully he's not the only one with tendencies...
Monday, February 17, 2014
I'm alive!!
Hello all,
I am so sorry I have been absent. I need to find an afternoon to type out some posts and schedule them. I have been very busy with a few projects;
1. Darcy turned 2! Hooray! We are planning a little home party with her for family and a couple of her friends from the nursery.
2. We are working on the studio! We have been cleaning and prepping to paint the basement as well as getting my props and equipment organized for my studio!
3. The best I saved for last-- I WROTE A BOOK! Yes, that was a big project. I have a publishing company, am working with an editor (though I am doing the actual editing myself with guidance) and am meeting with someone later this week who will be designing the cover! If all goes according to plan it will be available around the world in ebook format by the spring!
I really hope you will buy it, just because that would be super cool.
Thank you all for your continued support for my writing and artistic career!
I am so sorry I have been absent. I need to find an afternoon to type out some posts and schedule them. I have been very busy with a few projects;
1. Darcy turned 2! Hooray! We are planning a little home party with her for family and a couple of her friends from the nursery.
2. We are working on the studio! We have been cleaning and prepping to paint the basement as well as getting my props and equipment organized for my studio!
3. The best I saved for last-- I WROTE A BOOK! Yes, that was a big project. I have a publishing company, am working with an editor (though I am doing the actual editing myself with guidance) and am meeting with someone later this week who will be designing the cover! If all goes according to plan it will be available around the world in ebook format by the spring!
I really hope you will buy it, just because that would be super cool.
Thank you all for your continued support for my writing and artistic career!
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Basic rules for divorce
Ok, so after my last post on the basic rules for marriage, I was asked to do something on divorce (for those of you for whom it is too late I suppose?) This will mostly be suggestions from a person on the outside looking in.
1. Stop blasting your crap on social media: That is annoying. Seriously, people don't care that much, and you are pushing people away and making a fool of yourself.
2. Do not think you can tell lies about your ex: That is just tacky, immature, and disrespectful. not just to your ex, but to the people you are lying to. I may or may not know a couple who the ex wife lied and told some church friends she left her husband because he was beating her. This is complete bull. He never laid a hand on her and for over a year after several people were avoiding him for NO reason, but the lie they had been told. If you do not want to tell people (its really not their business) why you divorced, (like, for example, you're a raging whore)say something simple like "It just wasn't working out." (because you're a raging whore...)
3. Do not make people pick, because they will most likely not pick you. Friends, kids, etc. do not encourage or force them to pick a side. Do not act like every time they talk to or see your ex is an affront against you and your happiness, it is not. You may not be harboring a hate so fierce you sometimes think you can move things with your mind, but its OK that everyone else does not feel this way. I have never in my life seen someone who tried to force people's hand in a divorce situation who ended up being the one who was "picked." Ever.
4. Do not immediately date (unless you're a raging whore): I understand after the pain and rejection of a divorce it could be tempting to get back out there and do it all over again, but don't. For one people will not take you seriously. For two it is soooooooooo incredibly unfair to the poor sap who agrees to date you. For three it is super insensitive to the people around you, especially your parents and children. They most likely love or loved your ex and "moving on" will not be quite so easy for them always. Try to think of people besides you. Aside from all of these reasons, you should also assess your role in the failure of your relationship, grow and heal as a person and move on in a mindset to fix your past mistakes. I am sorry if you are perfect and your divorce was in no way your fault, but you are wrong which is precisely why you should not be dating.
5. Get yourself some counseling: At a church, a therapist, psychologist, something. Make yourself a better YOU for the world and for others. Get all the pint up emotions, distrust, and unforgiveness OUT. You do not want that swimming around in your being to sabotage your relationships with others (both romantic and non romantic).
Good luck in all of your many endeavors, and I hope the best for all of you! (even if you're a raging whore!)
1. Stop blasting your crap on social media: That is annoying. Seriously, people don't care that much, and you are pushing people away and making a fool of yourself.
2. Do not think you can tell lies about your ex: That is just tacky, immature, and disrespectful. not just to your ex, but to the people you are lying to. I may or may not know a couple who the ex wife lied and told some church friends she left her husband because he was beating her. This is complete bull. He never laid a hand on her and for over a year after several people were avoiding him for NO reason, but the lie they had been told. If you do not want to tell people (its really not their business) why you divorced, (like, for example, you're a raging whore)say something simple like "It just wasn't working out." (because you're a raging whore...)
3. Do not make people pick, because they will most likely not pick you. Friends, kids, etc. do not encourage or force them to pick a side. Do not act like every time they talk to or see your ex is an affront against you and your happiness, it is not. You may not be harboring a hate so fierce you sometimes think you can move things with your mind, but its OK that everyone else does not feel this way. I have never in my life seen someone who tried to force people's hand in a divorce situation who ended up being the one who was "picked." Ever.
4. Do not immediately date (unless you're a raging whore): I understand after the pain and rejection of a divorce it could be tempting to get back out there and do it all over again, but don't. For one people will not take you seriously. For two it is soooooooooo incredibly unfair to the poor sap who agrees to date you. For three it is super insensitive to the people around you, especially your parents and children. They most likely love or loved your ex and "moving on" will not be quite so easy for them always. Try to think of people besides you. Aside from all of these reasons, you should also assess your role in the failure of your relationship, grow and heal as a person and move on in a mindset to fix your past mistakes. I am sorry if you are perfect and your divorce was in no way your fault, but you are wrong which is precisely why you should not be dating.
5. Get yourself some counseling: At a church, a therapist, psychologist, something. Make yourself a better YOU for the world and for others. Get all the pint up emotions, distrust, and unforgiveness OUT. You do not want that swimming around in your being to sabotage your relationships with others (both romantic and non romantic).
Good luck in all of your many endeavors, and I hope the best for all of you! (even if you're a raging whore!)
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Basic rules for marriage
With the closing of 2013, I closed the third year running in which I witnessed more couples getting divorced than married. Keep in mind: I am a wedding photographer. Sometimes you see that couple get married and you are sure most of the people are taking bets on how long they will last. Sadly, this is the time we live in.
I am by no means perfect, nor is my relationship, or my husband. We are, however, going on our 5 year anniversary and for our age, I would say we are doing pretty awesome. Most of these tips are things we have learned from people much older and wiser than us, and then re-learned them the hard way.
Please note me re-iterating that we are by no means a perfect couple, these things will not save you from a painful divorce, and I in no way am qualified to give anyone advice on anything, ever.
1: Don't go to bed angry. All fights must be ended before anyone sleeps. You don't sleep well, and you wake up still angry and unrested, which usually only makes things worse.
2: Keep Mommy and Daddy out of it: You grew up and got married. That is your family now. That person is your #1. Whining about your spouse to your parents only builds a wall between your spouse and your parents- something that should always be avoided. You know who you should talk to when you have a problem with your spouse? Your spouse!! Mom and Dad's house is not a place to escape your spouse, or to hide from your issues. If you are a parent with adult married children and one comes home angry at their spouse (assuming they are not being beaten or such extremes) You should be a good parent and send them HOME to their FAMILY.
3: Keep the kids out of it: Do not argue in front of your children, it will make them grow up with issues. Also, do not talk down to or about your spouse in front of your children, this to me is the ultimate of disrespect.That is that child's father/mother and they will have plenty of time when they are teenagers to form negative opinions of them all on their own.
4. No name calling: Seriously sad this has to be said, but do not be a poo poo head and call your spouse names. It is hurtful and immature. Words DO hurt. Lets just tack no yelling to the end of this for the sake of being thorough.
5. Fight fair: Fights happen, its inevitable. I think it is healthy to fight at least occasionally, but when you do, fight about what you are fighting about, nothing else. If you've already settled this fight, you cannot bring it up again. Once something is "Forgiven" it should stay that way, it cannot be used again as ammunition to get your way and "win" the fight.
6: You are not going to like this. Sorry. First year of marriage, or during any rough patches: Don't drink alcohol.
WHAT?!?!
I know, I know.
But listen, alcohol does not add any new issues that aren't already there, but it can and often does peel back the layers that lay delicately over those issues and pours lemon juice into them. You can choose not to believe me, but you will save yourself a lot of fights and general irritation if you do.
7. Do things alone together: No friends, no family, no kids, just an old fashioned date. Never, no matter how poor, tired, sick, busy,etc. you are, never stop dating.
8. Do things together with others: Group dates, sports, bowling, church, whatever. Its good to be around other people/couples and have other couple friends.
9. Don't use the D word: Divorce. we are desensitized to it in America. It is tremendously common to have multiple marriages or to be getting a divorce. The more you say it, the more you convince your mind this is an option. Its not. It certainly does not have to be. If you want an actual lasting relationship, you will remove this word from your vocabulary. This is not leverage against your mate to get your way, this is a hurtful excuse to give up when something gets hard, and if you go through with it, it will not just hurt you and your spouse, I can absolutely promise you that.
10. Never, ever take advice from a single or repeatedly divorced person. This should go without saying, but it won't. People who have not been there do not know, and people who gave it all up don't deserve to be invited into your marriage to give advice in the first place. (Sorry, not even a close friend/family member!)
Some of these may seem extreme, but they are tried and true, and have gotten us this far. I am blessed to have a husband who puts God first with me, makes me laugh every day, and is my best friend. If that is not your spouse today, I encourage you both to start following these basic rules and finding your way together to an awesome best-friendship that will change your life.
Friday, January 10, 2014
Adventures in essential oils!
Hello again,
For the last few months I have been doing lots of research and sampling of essential oils.
Last year my son Greyson got sick every week. By this time last year he was rushed to the ER 3 times in respiratory distress. Not only was this stressful, heart wrenching, and horrible on our finances, it was exhausting and confusing too. I have always fed my kids healthy whole foods. Even when at times its been hard to afford things like fresh produce, I've prided myself on limiting their processed food intake. My kids get daily exercise, daily vitamins, lots of love and we honestly hardly go anywhere besides church and errands for him to get exposed in the first place.
It was to the point we were avoiding church because we just couldn't bear another illness.
If you don't have kids, let me tell you that watching your child gasp for breath and not being able to do anything about it is the most horrifying feeling ever. Promise. You will never feel more helpless than when your child is going through something and you cannot help them.
This year at one of my MOPS meetings we made home made cleaners. My Discussion group leader then told us about Thieves essential oil and how she felt that is the reason her daughter survived Chemo. It is an immunity boosting essential oil blend discovered to keep people healthy during the bubonic plague (The black plague for those of you who don't know).
I was very intrigued but didn't think too much beyond it, then I heard about it again at my Chiropractor. She was going to be doing a class on essential oils and I attended. After hearing the history as well as some personal testimonials on thieves, I was sold. It was a $45 teeny bottle of Christmas smelling juice, and I had so much apprehension. I weighed it out logically though and I pay $30 per person as a co-pay for every doctor's visit. Usually, if one kid gets sick they both do, so usually, its $60 an illness. $500 per emergency room visit. If this random black plague oil could save me just one illness, I just "made" $15.
I began putting it very sparingly on the bottoms of my kids feet in the morning and at night any days we were out in the world, with other kids, etc. I also diffuse it occasionally in an oil diffuser.
This was in October.
So far, we have not been ill since I began this. I don't even use it every day. If they seem congested, if we are going on a play date, to mops, to church, or to a family gathering, I do it once on their feet before bed.
We have been to 6 mops meetings, church, 4 play dates, mc donald's germ-place, the mall play scape, otherwise known as flu central, all things I would have seriously avoided last year. These activities would have landed us here:
(Giving Patches a breathing treatment too)
I woke up one morning in November with what I was sure was a severe sinus infection, something that in me would normally last as long as 2 weeks. I grabbed a supplement I had bought the previous month called "Inner Defense" which is a thieves oil based supplement with a bit of other good stuff too. I took it every 4 hours or so like I normally would have done with my cold medicine. I took no cold medicine, at all. No medicine, no chemicals period. I took this supplement, oiled my feet repeatedly, and took a few steamy baths. I was completely back to normal within 24 hours.
By then I was sold and on black Friday I purchased a kit with whole sale membership to young living. This basically just means I get 25% off on my oil purchases. I can make this into a business if I want to, and I really think I may- even though that wasn't my original intention.
The level of pain, discomfort, heartache, and money that one bottle of thieves has saved me is PRICELESS to me. I have seen tons of people on my facebook, etc. dealing with what we dealt with last year- seemingly endless illnesses and the pain it causes your family and your wallet.
If you never, ever try any other essential oil, just try this one. I guarantee you will not be disappointed with the results!
For the last few months I have been doing lots of research and sampling of essential oils.
Last year my son Greyson got sick every week. By this time last year he was rushed to the ER 3 times in respiratory distress. Not only was this stressful, heart wrenching, and horrible on our finances, it was exhausting and confusing too. I have always fed my kids healthy whole foods. Even when at times its been hard to afford things like fresh produce, I've prided myself on limiting their processed food intake. My kids get daily exercise, daily vitamins, lots of love and we honestly hardly go anywhere besides church and errands for him to get exposed in the first place.
It was to the point we were avoiding church because we just couldn't bear another illness.
This year at one of my MOPS meetings we made home made cleaners. My Discussion group leader then told us about Thieves essential oil and how she felt that is the reason her daughter survived Chemo. It is an immunity boosting essential oil blend discovered to keep people healthy during the bubonic plague (The black plague for those of you who don't know).
I was very intrigued but didn't think too much beyond it, then I heard about it again at my Chiropractor. She was going to be doing a class on essential oils and I attended. After hearing the history as well as some personal testimonials on thieves, I was sold. It was a $45 teeny bottle of Christmas smelling juice, and I had so much apprehension. I weighed it out logically though and I pay $30 per person as a co-pay for every doctor's visit. Usually, if one kid gets sick they both do, so usually, its $60 an illness. $500 per emergency room visit. If this random black plague oil could save me just one illness, I just "made" $15.
I began putting it very sparingly on the bottoms of my kids feet in the morning and at night any days we were out in the world, with other kids, etc. I also diffuse it occasionally in an oil diffuser.
This was in October.
So far, we have not been ill since I began this. I don't even use it every day. If they seem congested, if we are going on a play date, to mops, to church, or to a family gathering, I do it once on their feet before bed.
We have been to 6 mops meetings, church, 4 play dates, mc donald's germ-place, the mall play scape, otherwise known as flu central, all things I would have seriously avoided last year. These activities would have landed us here:
I woke up one morning in November with what I was sure was a severe sinus infection, something that in me would normally last as long as 2 weeks. I grabbed a supplement I had bought the previous month called "Inner Defense" which is a thieves oil based supplement with a bit of other good stuff too. I took it every 4 hours or so like I normally would have done with my cold medicine. I took no cold medicine, at all. No medicine, no chemicals period. I took this supplement, oiled my feet repeatedly, and took a few steamy baths. I was completely back to normal within 24 hours.
By then I was sold and on black Friday I purchased a kit with whole sale membership to young living. This basically just means I get 25% off on my oil purchases. I can make this into a business if I want to, and I really think I may- even though that wasn't my original intention.
The level of pain, discomfort, heartache, and money that one bottle of thieves has saved me is PRICELESS to me. I have seen tons of people on my facebook, etc. dealing with what we dealt with last year- seemingly endless illnesses and the pain it causes your family and your wallet.
If you never, ever try any other essential oil, just try this one. I guarantee you will not be disappointed with the results!
(If you would like to purchase some thieves essential oil, or any other oils, do so here: https://www.youngliving.org/saltyalley If you have any questions about essential oils and what oils to use, feel free to message me!)
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
How Target almost ruined our Christmas (and why they should be held accountable)
Many people were effected by the recent data leak/hack of Target corporation financial information. More than 700,000 people actually. Card numbers and pins were leaked, all following the biggest shopping day of the year- Black Friday.
It took several days for Target to put out an official "comment" on the matter and it was a very brief apology which probably took less time and review than this blog posting. To help make up for any "inconvenience" they gave customers 10% off for a whole whopping day. wow. Slightly less profit for a whole day. How generous.
Here is some ways Target and their big data leak effected my family:
All my bills come out on Fridays, from my debit card, which was immediately cancelled (on a Friday) by my bank. The bank was kind enough to provide a letter to explain the situation but the bill companies were not so understanding, which means 3 $25 fees for my card being rejected when they tried to charge it: $75
I then had to rush to the bank and take out cash before it closed (going in, waiting in a line of 50+ people in the same boat while wrestling 2 small children was super fun, NOT!). I then had to rush to a store on the opposite side of town and pay my bills, plus the fees, plus the service charge from the store ($3 per bill x3 bills=$9) Not to mention the gas which we shall say conservatively was around $5 extra I wouldn't have had to spend.
Then Saturday night came, and as you may have already read, my super brilliant dog decided it was a good idea to eat mouse poison and I had to rush him to the Animal hospital at 11 at night 4 days before Christmas.
Animal Hospitals (at least this one) require cash up front, and its $75 just to walk in the door. I have $78 in my wallet and no way of getting more until Monday (Bank is closed Sunday). I have no one I can call, its late, and I'm not thinking people will have extra money laying around 4 days before Christmas. The hospital was pretty much going to let my dog die because of money. Because of Target. (If you want to read about this story check it out here:http://saltyalley.blogspot.com/2013/12/silver-linings.html)
Because of the high volume of new cards being ordered, they were taking longer and it was a full 10 days before we got our new cards, and we still have not received our new pin numbers (as of New years day). We have made 6 total trips to the bank which we normally wouldn't have so I am going to call that an extra $15
Not to mention I ordered my husband's Christmas presents Thursday night before all this happened and the payment didn't process before the card got cancelled, so all of his presents were late. :(
That puts me at an extra $103 Target has cost just my family alone. I know there are people who had far worse situations than we did. People who had money taken have to wait an average of 6-10 weeks just to get their money back. What if I didn't have a Christmas miracle and my dog died because I didn't have access to my money? What if it was my child and I needed medicine in the night? Seriously, how is a day of 10% discounts going to make this OK?!
I shop at Target a LOT. I had cartwheel all of 2 weeks and saved over $90 before this happened, just to give you an idea of how much I shop there.
Target needs to step up and make this right, or I am never stepping into a Target again.
They need to be held accountable for their lack of security/discretion with their customer's information and make up for nearly ruining (or actually ruining) many people's holidays!
If you agree, PLEASE SHARE this post! Lets make a ruckus and let Target know we deserve better as consumers!
It took several days for Target to put out an official "comment" on the matter and it was a very brief apology which probably took less time and review than this blog posting. To help make up for any "inconvenience" they gave customers 10% off for a whole whopping day. wow. Slightly less profit for a whole day. How generous.
Here is some ways Target and their big data leak effected my family:
All my bills come out on Fridays, from my debit card, which was immediately cancelled (on a Friday) by my bank. The bank was kind enough to provide a letter to explain the situation but the bill companies were not so understanding, which means 3 $25 fees for my card being rejected when they tried to charge it: $75
I then had to rush to the bank and take out cash before it closed (going in, waiting in a line of 50+ people in the same boat while wrestling 2 small children was super fun, NOT!). I then had to rush to a store on the opposite side of town and pay my bills, plus the fees, plus the service charge from the store ($3 per bill x3 bills=$9) Not to mention the gas which we shall say conservatively was around $5 extra I wouldn't have had to spend.
Then Saturday night came, and as you may have already read, my super brilliant dog decided it was a good idea to eat mouse poison and I had to rush him to the Animal hospital at 11 at night 4 days before Christmas.
Animal Hospitals (at least this one) require cash up front, and its $75 just to walk in the door. I have $78 in my wallet and no way of getting more until Monday (Bank is closed Sunday). I have no one I can call, its late, and I'm not thinking people will have extra money laying around 4 days before Christmas. The hospital was pretty much going to let my dog die because of money. Because of Target. (If you want to read about this story check it out here:http://saltyalley.blogspot.com/2013/12/silver-linings.html)
Because of the high volume of new cards being ordered, they were taking longer and it was a full 10 days before we got our new cards, and we still have not received our new pin numbers (as of New years day). We have made 6 total trips to the bank which we normally wouldn't have so I am going to call that an extra $15
Not to mention I ordered my husband's Christmas presents Thursday night before all this happened and the payment didn't process before the card got cancelled, so all of his presents were late. :(
That puts me at an extra $103 Target has cost just my family alone. I know there are people who had far worse situations than we did. People who had money taken have to wait an average of 6-10 weeks just to get their money back. What if I didn't have a Christmas miracle and my dog died because I didn't have access to my money? What if it was my child and I needed medicine in the night? Seriously, how is a day of 10% discounts going to make this OK?!
I shop at Target a LOT. I had cartwheel all of 2 weeks and saved over $90 before this happened, just to give you an idea of how much I shop there.
Target needs to step up and make this right, or I am never stepping into a Target again.
They need to be held accountable for their lack of security/discretion with their customer's information and make up for nearly ruining (or actually ruining) many people's holidays!
If you agree, PLEASE SHARE this post! Lets make a ruckus and let Target know we deserve better as consumers!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Kids say the Darnest things (Part one)
Here are just some random funny things my kids have said recently, hopefully they make you smile and brighten your day!
1. Do Hamsters have butts?
- Greyson, age 3
2. Greyson: You shouldn't poop your pants, Dawson. Monsters and baby dinosaurs eat poop.
Me: Just the baby dinosaurs? Grown up dinosaurs don't eat poop?
Greyson: (In a tone to say Im an idiot) No! They eat plants and veggies if their Urban Vores (Herbavores) and they eat animals and people if they are Carnivals (Carnivores). But the baby dinosaurs are babies so they eat poop....
3. Greyson: Help! My toe is stuck!!
I rush in to see his toe stuck in the little jail of his bat cave toy and remove it.
Me: Did we learn a lesson here?
Greyson: Yeah, bad guy toes can't go to jail.
4. Dawson (age 1.5) holding an egg: Duck.
Me: That's an egg.
Dawson: Duck.
Me: No, EGG
Dawson: No, DUCK.
Me: Ducks lay eggs and come out of eggs.
Dawson: Yes, good job mommy.
-_-
5. Me (in the shower): It doesn't sound like you two are playing nicely out there!!
Greyson: I am actually playing quite nicely, but Dawson doesn't play well with others.
6. Greyson: I know the joker did it but he can't go to jail. There's no forensic evidence.
(I feel I should explain I am a criminal justice major and he often hears me talking about cases/case studies)
7. Greyson: Look Mommy! Our God is making it snow!!
Me: Wow look at all that snow!
Greyson: It's ok, he will probably clean it up soon.
8. Greyson: I think some fresh pancakes are in order for today!
9. Greyson: I like to dance naked. I do a naked dance.
Me: Yes, we have all seen the naked dance, unfortunately.
Greyson: Do you ever do a naked dance?
10: Jingle bells jingle bells
Papa doesnt like legos maybe
I like playing with my cousins
Jingle all the way
Aunt Faith is fun too
Mommy and daddy should give me cookies cuz Im cool
Jingle all the way...
1. Do Hamsters have butts?
- Greyson, age 3
2. Greyson: You shouldn't poop your pants, Dawson. Monsters and baby dinosaurs eat poop.
Me: Just the baby dinosaurs? Grown up dinosaurs don't eat poop?
Greyson: (In a tone to say Im an idiot) No! They eat plants and veggies if their Urban Vores (Herbavores) and they eat animals and people if they are Carnivals (Carnivores). But the baby dinosaurs are babies so they eat poop....
3. Greyson: Help! My toe is stuck!!
I rush in to see his toe stuck in the little jail of his bat cave toy and remove it.
Me: Did we learn a lesson here?
Greyson: Yeah, bad guy toes can't go to jail.
4. Dawson (age 1.5) holding an egg: Duck.
Me: That's an egg.
Dawson: Duck.
Me: No, EGG
Dawson: No, DUCK.
Me: Ducks lay eggs and come out of eggs.
Dawson: Yes, good job mommy.
-_-
5. Me (in the shower): It doesn't sound like you two are playing nicely out there!!
Greyson: I am actually playing quite nicely, but Dawson doesn't play well with others.
6. Greyson: I know the joker did it but he can't go to jail. There's no forensic evidence.
(I feel I should explain I am a criminal justice major and he often hears me talking about cases/case studies)
7. Greyson: Look Mommy! Our God is making it snow!!
Me: Wow look at all that snow!
Greyson: It's ok, he will probably clean it up soon.
8. Greyson: I think some fresh pancakes are in order for today!
9. Greyson: I like to dance naked. I do a naked dance.
Me: Yes, we have all seen the naked dance, unfortunately.
Greyson: Do you ever do a naked dance?
10: Jingle bells jingle bells
Papa doesnt like legos maybe
I like playing with my cousins
Jingle all the way
Aunt Faith is fun too
Mommy and daddy should give me cookies cuz Im cool
Jingle all the way...
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Taco Salad Recipe!
In the spirit of variety, I'll post a nice recipe today!
Here is my taco salad recipe:
Need:
1lb ground beef
taco seasoning
bag chopped lettuce
1 tomato (diced)
1/2 bag your favorite flavor of doritos
Catalina Salad dressing
brown the meat and mix in the taco seasoning. I sometimes mix in additional taco sauce. Allow to cool as you dice and chop your tomato/lettuce. You could also dice up some onions or peppers if you wanted to bulk it up or add to the flavor variety. Once the beef is at least room temp (so you dont wilt your lettuce to death) mix it into the veggie combo and mix in some catalina dressing. Do it to your liking, keeping in mind you will also be adding the chips. Lastly, just a few minutes before serving, crush around half a bag of doritos or another of your favorite tortilla chips into the mix. Serve chilled. ENJOY!!
Here is my taco salad recipe:
Need:
1lb ground beef
taco seasoning
bag chopped lettuce
1 tomato (diced)
1/2 bag your favorite flavor of doritos
Catalina Salad dressing
brown the meat and mix in the taco seasoning. I sometimes mix in additional taco sauce. Allow to cool as you dice and chop your tomato/lettuce. You could also dice up some onions or peppers if you wanted to bulk it up or add to the flavor variety. Once the beef is at least room temp (so you dont wilt your lettuce to death) mix it into the veggie combo and mix in some catalina dressing. Do it to your liking, keeping in mind you will also be adding the chips. Lastly, just a few minutes before serving, crush around half a bag of doritos or another of your favorite tortilla chips into the mix. Serve chilled. ENJOY!!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Doing something right with your tax refund.
Its that time of year again and the interwebs will soon be teaming with people rejoicing (or mourning) over their tax refunds. Though free money is lots of fun I usually meet this season with a great deal of disdain.
I personally only pay bills, pay down debt, make repairs to my house/car and possibly if I am lucky enough to have anything left, will try to invest in something that will make our bills less expensive (we are hoping for a tank-less water heater this year). But while I am off in my corner being responsible (AKA: totally lame), I notice many people who already have too much buying more. Christmas just passed and despite the fact that their 5 year old already owns an ipad, ipod, and iphone, the family feels microsoft should get some love too and buys Jr. and xbox one. (for example).
Every year I encourage people to use at least a small portion of their tax return to make a difference in someone's life. Some things I like to give to are programs that repair cleft palates, programs digging wells in third world countries to provide people with access to clean water. I try to think of the people that still have nothing in this world and realize my bills can wait, student loans will be there for years to come, but somewhere a child is starving, or dying of a curable disease, or cold, or dehydrated.
I am not trying to be Debbie Downer here, but one of the most common excuses I hear for not giving to charities is that they don't have any extra money. Well, you will soon, so remember those little people whose parents are just struggling to feed them.
Don't like/trust charities? Ok, so how about you buy that busy single mom a spa gift card and offer to watch her kids? Do you know someone with a special needs child? buy them a gas gift card. trips to the doctor, hospital, and various therapies add up! Go out and buy a few bouquets of brightly colored flowers and go to a nursing home. Sit and visit with each recipient for a few minutes. I promise you will be blessed!
Bless a random stranger. Pay for the coffee of the guy behind you. Be more than a selfish spending machine and do something worthwhile!
I personally only pay bills, pay down debt, make repairs to my house/car and possibly if I am lucky enough to have anything left, will try to invest in something that will make our bills less expensive (we are hoping for a tank-less water heater this year). But while I am off in my corner being responsible (AKA: totally lame), I notice many people who already have too much buying more. Christmas just passed and despite the fact that their 5 year old already owns an ipad, ipod, and iphone, the family feels microsoft should get some love too and buys Jr. and xbox one. (for example).
Every year I encourage people to use at least a small portion of their tax return to make a difference in someone's life. Some things I like to give to are programs that repair cleft palates, programs digging wells in third world countries to provide people with access to clean water. I try to think of the people that still have nothing in this world and realize my bills can wait, student loans will be there for years to come, but somewhere a child is starving, or dying of a curable disease, or cold, or dehydrated.
I am not trying to be Debbie Downer here, but one of the most common excuses I hear for not giving to charities is that they don't have any extra money. Well, you will soon, so remember those little people whose parents are just struggling to feed them.
Don't like/trust charities? Ok, so how about you buy that busy single mom a spa gift card and offer to watch her kids? Do you know someone with a special needs child? buy them a gas gift card. trips to the doctor, hospital, and various therapies add up! Go out and buy a few bouquets of brightly colored flowers and go to a nursing home. Sit and visit with each recipient for a few minutes. I promise you will be blessed!
Bless a random stranger. Pay for the coffee of the guy behind you. Be more than a selfish spending machine and do something worthwhile!
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