The Challenge Update

Hello!

I told you all a while back about my 30 in 30 every month challenge, in which I challenged myself to write 30k words a month for 12 months straight. I am happy to update that I am still on track and finished the first draft of another novel this month! I am hoping to finish one more but of course inspiration has struck and that means I am also starting another. I hope I can at least try to finish one a month if I am also going to be starting one a month (or sometimes two).

What am I working on?

A fantasy

A Sci-Fi

A couple of very different romances, though all fairly mild (Think more Nick Sparks and less E.L. James)

Some are stand-alones

Some have sequels

I've also dabbled in the idea of a sort-of sequel to Reed (purchase the first here: http://goo.gl/8Ldcfi) in which you would see the main characters about 3 years later and what is going on in their lives, and would change to a Sam-focused POV. Not everyone would be in it, and I would write it so they could be read together or separately. I would love to have some feedback on this idea, I will probably write it regardless, but I don't want to go through the work of publishing if no one wants to read it, you know?

Keep encouraging me (I need it!) and thank you to all the people who are always giving me support and helping me be brave enough to talk about this huge part of me which has remained a hidden one for too long.

Be careful what you wish for: Some thoughts on adoption

      First off I want to say that I come from an adoptive household, I grew up in the culture of adoption, many of my closest friends are adopted, and my husband & I hope we will one day be able to add to our family through adoption. I understand the pain an adoptive family goes through when a child they fall in love with will not be theirs after all. I have been there. I understand that desire to be able to do something when your hands are tied. I really do.

     I also understand the pain and heartache of a birth family wrestling with the decision on whether or not to give up their child, to try and make the call on where they will have their best chance and be brave enough to make the decision.

     I understand the ugliness of situations in which mommies or daddies (or both) don't get to make the decision, but the decision is made for them and their babies are taken away.

    Through friends and family and in my personal life I have been touched by situations like this, and I take none of them lightly. Not a single one. I am totally about to call one of you out, though, and it is you whom I share the closest relation to: the waiting adoptive parent.

     You want a child, I get it. You want to be a forever family, that's awesome. It really is. I am sure you love that child, seen or unseen. I am sure you assume (like every parent does) that you know what is best for this child.

     I have noticed a huge trend in the adoption community, among waiting parents & foster parents, that are hoping, encouraging hope for, praying, etc. that their child's biological parents won't show up. I'm talking about situations where perhaps the child was removed from a home or not allowed to go home in the first place for one reason or another. These parents are usually given extensive opportunities to get their "act" together before their child becomes "adoptable." The goal is to ideally reunite families, and is actually the basis and goal behind foster care (go figure!)

     I regularly (regrettably so) see posts such as "Fingers crossed birth dad won't show to visitation" or "Pray mom doesn't come to court hearing today." You get the picture. And I get it, I do, the dad is awful, the mom is strung out, blah blah blah. Here are 2 simple facts to consider, before you act like this is such an obvious thing to hope for.

           1.  No matter how great this adoption will be for you, not being wanted will never, ever feel like a good thing to your child.

           2.  No matter what, they are still part of your child's story.

      There, I said it. I am sorry. You could be the best parent ever, but when your adopted child grows up, you will still only be one piece of their story. They will have to come to terms with the fact that they were not wanted. They will have to learn to accept the fact that God gave them to someone, and they returned them. They will have to process the hurt that is associated with being given away. Do you really want them to also have to deal with all this and know it is what you hoped for, what you prayed for? Do you really want, when your child is in their deepest point of processing, to feel like you wished this on them?

        Not only that but what if one day your child reconnects with their biological parent. How do you know they won't get their act together eventually and want a relationship? You don't, and selfishly sabotaging your child's biological parent through your actions, words, prayers, etc. is wrong.

        Adoption is hard for everyone involved, everyone. Acting as though this, these decisions, are not going to effect your child in the future is not only ignorant, it's selfish. You don't know people, their potential, their future, their struggles, or where they came from. You can assume, you can read reports, but no one really knows the full truth but them.

Your job is to be there for your child, to think of them first and yourself last. Your job is to hope they get their best possible chance at life, and not assume it's you. Your job is to be there every step of the way, however many steps you are given.

Every decision you make today will effect your child tomorrow (this goes for any parent). Make smart decisions, choose your words wisely, and be careful what you wish for. Realize your silent wish today could be your child's nightmare tomorrow.

I hope I was able to make your wheels turn and help you think about how you are approaching. your child's unique "story." We're all stories in the end.

June adventures; Beta reading

Just stopping by for an update on my progress.

June has been one of the most difficult months since I set my goal. For one of the first times in my life, I had serious writer's block for over a week.

I did everything I could think of to kill it, but it just wasn't happening, and I was at a transitional point in all 3 of my works-in-progress. (yes, THREE)

This was pretty much me:

I did things I don't normally have time for, like...clean...and cook healthy meals...

I finally DID get over it, thankfully, and am caught up on my word count-- for now, but I did order some "performance-enhancing drugs" AKA some ENVISION essential oil this month just to keep the juices flowing, just in case, because:

In other news, Elle Quinn Cage (Find her on Twitter @ElleQuinnCage) is writing a romance novel, and I have been privileged with the honor of beta reading/editing it for her.
She's hoping to release by September (which happens to be when I am also hoping to release Make a Wish) and I just have to hyper her a little bit here.

If you like steamy romance, this book has it. Thick plot? check. Twists & surprises? Double check.

This is not your cliche, dark broody man is fixed by the girl next door kind of story, but is a completely different take.

It has far more realistic elements than many other romance novels I've read, which I love because it helps you get lost in the story more easily.

I am probably giving away too much, but anyway, I will be giving a full review in September when it's released, but stay tuned because this baby is going to be good!!

Also, if you or someone you know is a BETA READER or a BOOK BLOGGER, feel free to contact either me or Elle if you would be interested in reading/reviewing our upcoming works. Mine is a (non-erotic) romance, Elle's is a steamy romance, and both are ready for their beta phase!

The fear in me.

Artists are the most insecure while simultaneously being the most egotistical people in the universe. This is true of every artist I have ever met, not matter their art form.

I am all artist. I love all art, if it's artsy; I want to do it. I love crafts, I love painting, I love music and singing (in the shower, not for real humans) and I love writing.

No matter what form of art I am doing, I am always tempted to keep it to myself. I did photography for a long time before I felt "safe" showing others what I could do, and even now, I sometimes feel certain things are not good enough to show others.

Showing your art, in any form, to others is like opening up your soul to them, whether you or they realize it or not. I pour my heart and soul into anything I do, and when it is something I have created, I love it like I love the children I created.

I have been writing stories since I had the ability to write. I wrote my first "novel" at 9 years old. I haven't shared my writing (outside of blog form) with anyone since I was 14. That means it has been almost 11 years since another soul has read any of my fiction.

This scares the crap out of me.

I have had editors, marketers, writers, and readers beta read my book for feedback and it has been the most nerve racking experience of my life.

In a few short weeks my book will be released. People will buy it, they will read it, and they will have opinions. Can I handle that?  My name will be on this book and people I know will see it and read it simply because I wrote it. Will they be kind?

This book is NOT everyone's cup of tea, I know this. It deals with a lot of tough subjects and has some language, something I know a lot of my family may judge me for.

I have been battling with a great deal of fear and insecurity leading up to the release, and I honestly don't think there is anything I can do to make this feeling go away, or to avoid it.  If I publish more, I will likely still get this feeling.

Guess what, it doesn't matter.

This is my dream, and I am going after it. I have wanted to be a published author since I was 7, and I am about to be one. People may have opinions about what I wrote about, or how I wrote it, or anything else, and that's ok. This isn't there dream, its mine. They will not regret it if I don't write books, but I will. They will not go crazy with the stories swirling in their mind, I will.

This is my story, and I am writing it the way I feel led. God has given me this gift and it would be wrong not to use it in the way I feel led.

I thank you all for your love and support and hope you will consider purchasing it when it comes out, but if not, I will understand.