Kids say the Darnest things (Part one)

Here are just some random funny things my kids have said recently, hopefully they make you smile and brighten your day!

1. Do Hamsters have butts?
- Greyson, age 3

2. Greyson: You shouldn't poop your pants, Dawson. Monsters and baby dinosaurs eat poop.
    Me: Just the baby dinosaurs? Grown up dinosaurs don't eat poop?
    Greyson: (In a tone to say Im an idiot) No! They eat plants and veggies if their Urban Vores (Herbavores) and they eat animals and people if they are Carnivals (Carnivores). But the baby dinosaurs are babies so they eat poop....

3. Greyson: Help! My toe is stuck!!
I rush in to see his toe stuck in the little jail of his bat cave toy and remove it.
Me: Did we learn a lesson here?
Greyson: Yeah, bad guy toes can't go to jail.

4. Dawson (age 1.5) holding an egg: Duck.
Me: That's an egg.
Dawson: Duck.
Me: No, EGG
Dawson: No, DUCK.
Me: Ducks lay eggs and come out of eggs.
Dawson: Yes, good job mommy.
-_-

5. Me (in the shower): It doesn't sound like you two are playing nicely out there!!
   Greyson: I am actually playing quite nicely, but Dawson doesn't play well with others.

6. Greyson: I know the joker did it but he can't go to jail. There's no forensic evidence.
(I feel I should explain I am a criminal justice major and he often hears me talking about cases/case studies)

7. Greyson: Look Mommy! Our God is making it snow!!
Me: Wow look at all that snow!
Greyson: It's ok, he will probably clean it up soon.

8. Greyson: I think some fresh pancakes are in order for today!

9. Greyson: I like to dance naked. I do a naked dance.
Me: Yes, we have all seen the naked dance, unfortunately.
Greyson: Do you ever do a naked dance?

10: Jingle bells jingle bells
Papa doesnt like legos maybe
I like playing with my cousins
Jingle all the way
Aunt Faith is fun too
Mommy and daddy should give me cookies cuz Im cool
Jingle all the way...

All about my reproductive system...

I’ve noticed not a lot of people get my humor, so I put more of it on the blog than on things like, facebook for instance, where people who may not appreciate stories of my husband and I may not be as well appreciated…

So recently I was asked if we were having more kids, because when you are young and have young children your reproductive tendencies and plans are everyone’s business, apparently. Fighting the urge to tell the group I was in fact currently pregnant but unsure of who the father was just to be a stinker, I replied that we do not indeed plan to have any more kids, which was of course, met with disagreement. I was told that I will obviously have an accidental pregnancy. Well we both plan to get “fixed.” At which point I was told, that is stupid. Of course it is. 

Got to love old ladies and their meddling. We aren’t actually positive at all on our next moves toward parenting/reproduction but we are happy where we are. I cannot imagine what lovely opinions I would have gotten from that answer. In the mean time I am enjoying my beautiful children I have and all their antics, I have no desire to be outnumbered by these little minions, but I have learned to never say never. 

Maybe next time I am asked (likely within the next week) I will pull out a temp chart and ask for positional recommendations…hmm…

Things you don't think you should have to tell your children (But you do) Part 2

Things you don't think you should have to tell your children (But you do) Part 2:

16. Just because I said I will not buy that for you does not mean you “need to call papa” 

17. If you are trying to make me feel guilty by saying you miss daddy after being punished, well, its working.

18. Rubbing poop on the walls is not my idea of “artwork.”

19. You went poop in the potty? awesome! No, we cannot save it to show daddy….

20. …Fine, we will send him a picture…

21. Don’t eat that bug.

22. Don’t eat sand.

23. Don’t eat rocks.

24. Sorry, they don’t make medicine for bad dreams.

25. Because I said so.

26. Mommy and daddy get to share a bed because…because….ask daddy.

27. Your best friend can’t live here, his mommy would miss him too much.

28. Why is great grandmas skin so stretchy? Hmm, I don’t know, maybe shes a super hero!

29. “Its so cute and fuzzy” is ok to say about pets and woodland creatures, but not about the gigantic motorcycle guy behind us at wal-mart. Please stop pointing.  Shh. 

30. Don’t lock your sister in the kennel. It does not matter if she has her sippy and some cheerios.