Distress...

Tomorrow I may have to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life.  The doctors would like me to induce miss Dawson.  As someone who is such an advocate of the natural ways, as someone who has done so much research and heard so many horror stories, this scares the daylights out of me.  At this point (almost a week over) however, there are also risks to keeping her IN.  There are horror stories there too. 
I spent my yesterday buried in medical journals, random boughts of sobbing, and so on.  This is not just Darcy's life- it is my life also- and for that I feel, also Greyson's.  Loving can be so painful sometimes. If I didn't love so much, the decision would be easy.
I have a bit of time left, and am praying, begging, groveling, that God take this decision from my hands and send me naturally into labor.  I would be so very thankful.  I cannot express how much it is the desire of my heart to get this baby out naturally.  No, I will not receive a medal, no trophy for my troubles, but I will look back feeling like I made the best possible provisions for my daughter to start her life.
Please say a prayer for me and Darcy today, that I go into labor and she is able to be brought into this world naturally, safely, and healthily.  Thank you.

Dearest Darcy,

Dearest Darcy,

I wanted to write this to you in anticipation of your arrival.  I am 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant with you as of today.  It has been a long, difficult road.  We have been through a lot together.  I have worried about you, prayed over you, cried over you, and prayed some more. 
In these days before your arrival I realize its not the house that needs to be ready, its not whether or not you have enough onsies, or diapers, or whether our fridge is stocked with healthy groceries or leftover lo mein- its all in God's timing.  You will come on your birthday.  In reality I won't remember in five years if my kitchen floor was mopped when we came home from the hospital, but I will most definitely remember bringing you home, and finally having you in my arms.
Looking back on your brother's homecoming just over 2 years ago, I can only tell you how the furniture was arranged because of pictures.  I don't remember how many onsies or sleepers we had, how many blankets, or if we had groceries in the fridge.  I remember blue balloons, visits from loving family and friends, sleepless nights filled with hiccups, cries, feedings, and simply watching him breathe.  I am sure your homecoming will be no different.
I'm sorry if I have made you feel rushed in any way, my sweet princess.  I realize now that a princess is never late or early, she always arrives precisely when she means to.  Though I am eager for your arrival, I am turning over to you and God the decision of your birthday. 
I found out yesterday the doctor who has taken such good care of us and watched over us will be out of town on our "due date" and the day before.  This filled me with fear and panic, I felt somehow we wouldn't be as safe in the hands of a resident doctor.  God put Dr. Armstead in our lives in the first place, and whoever ends up with us in the hospital will be placed there by God as well.  He knows what he is doing, and I know he loves us both so much, he will keep us safe and healthy.  Birth plans and sentimental ideas are of no importance in comparison to your health and safety, and no experience can be a "bad" experience if the result is a healthy, safe, and beautiful you. 
I love you Miss Dawson Jayne, and I know you will grown into a wonderful and impactful woman of God one day.
Kisses.

Love,
Mommy

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Them Lazies N' their FOOD STAMPS!!

Deut. 15:7. If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any of the towns of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks. 

A matter really really close to my heart lately is about all the people on welfare/food stamps, and all the people who are SUPPOSED to be Christians (or even just decent human beings) complaining about it.

I know for the 3 families that NEED food stamps there are probably 3 more individuals who are perfectly capable of providing for themselves and just refuse to (at least here in the Detroit area), but I also KNOW there ARE those families who are hard working and love each other and just need the extra help too!

My next door neighbor is an excellent example.  She works full time and goes to school full time.  She lives with her mom and her brother and her 2 children who are both clean and well taken care of. She has taxes taken out of her check every week, just like you, and pays taxes on the things she buys, just like you.  She also happens to have an ebt card.  Does she sound lazy to you?  Do you think she enjoys that despite the fact she is working so hard and living with her mother to save money she still needs help feeding her family?  I highly doubt it. 

I have heard stories of people "saying things" to the person in front of them paying with the bridge card, things like "you're welcome for that" or even worse or more cruel things.  To them I say, SHAME ON YOU! You have no idea what their background or home situation is.  What an awful example of the love of Christ.  If the body of Christ was following its call to feed the poor and care for the widows and orphans, that person wouldn't have to turn to the government to feed their family.

Maybe it's not THEIR laziness you need to be concerned about, maybe its YOURS!  What have you done for the poor in your community lately?  What have you done to reach out and show the love of Christ, father to the fatherless?  If you proclaim to be a Christian, you need to do so everywhere you go, you are not exempt in the line at the grocery store.

Next time, maybe say a prayer for that family, and thank God that you have the ability to pay for your own food with your own money and have some left over for bills as well.  You have the freedom to go through the grocery store line without receiving stares, dirty looks, or comments that can come along with using the Bridge card.

It's not the concept of their perceived laziness that bothers me, its our ACTUAL laziness as Christians which comes to my mind when I see a person use one of those cards.

So what will you do to change it?

Is 41:17. The afflicted and needy are seeking water, but there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst. I, the LORD, will answer them Myself, as the God of Israel I will not forsake them.


Luke 6:20-21. Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. 


James 2:5. Did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?

Check out my shop on Etsy!

Starting a small business. It would mean a lot if you all took a look at my shop or even shared the link! Thanks!


http://www.etsy.com/shop/asaltz

Here's the door, all you have to do is walk through.

Anyone who knows me well knows I tend to be a very helpful person, I have found this can be as much of a fault as it is a gift. 
I learned my senior year of high school/freshman year of college there is such a thing as too much giving.  There are certain people who will take and take and never be there for you.  Unfortunately those people are hard to recognize until it is too late. 
This year I seem to be learning about people who just refuse to take. You set everything up for them to solve a problem they confided to you, but they refuse to take the ONE step of action it requires.  They continue to complain, mope, etc. in this problem and you feel like you're screaming your head off saying "JUST DO THIS!! HERE IS THE DOOR, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WALK THROUGH!!"
No matter how many "strings" I pull, no matter how detailed of information or directions I find, sometimes people are just choosing to be in the situation they are in.  This is also very hard to accept because no one likes to see someone they care about suffering.  Its even harder to realize they won't change it.
Reflecting on this I realize I have only encountered a handful of people like this. How frustrating it must be for God, who is constantly giving, constantly offering blessings, and being ignored.  Imagine the person praying and praying for something. God has prepared the way, but they refuse to see it. They refuse to walk through the door.  He's saying "Here's the door, all you have to do is walk through." 
"When God closes a door, he opens a window" is a common saying.  Maybe he closed the door because you were heading for the wrong one.  Maybe you never bothered looking around and seeing that you've been in a  room full of open doors all along.

God, please, please, please. give me a heart to receive.  Give me the eyes to see the blessings and opportunities you have laid before me.  Give me the motivation and determination to walk through those doors and accept your perfect will for my life.

Flutters

I am feeling flutters from the baby now.  Just wanted to share :-) I am getting very excited to find out if its a boy or a girl (I feel very strongly its a girl).  I still feel terrible I cannot find her name though.  I know it must be something very special...I just cant find it.