Tomorrow I may have to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life. The doctors would like me to induce miss Dawson. As someone who is such an advocate of the natural ways, as someone who has done so much research and heard so many horror stories, this scares the daylights out of me. At this point (almost a week over) however, there are also risks to keeping her IN. There are horror stories there too.
I spent my yesterday buried in medical journals, random boughts of sobbing, and so on. This is not just Darcy's life- it is my life also- and for that I feel, also Greyson's. Loving can be so painful sometimes. If I didn't love so much, the decision would be easy.
I have a bit of time left, and am praying, begging, groveling, that God take this decision from my hands and send me naturally into labor. I would be so very thankful. I cannot express how much it is the desire of my heart to get this baby out naturally. No, I will not receive a medal, no trophy for my troubles, but I will look back feeling like I made the best possible provisions for my daughter to start her life.
Please say a prayer for me and Darcy today, that I go into labor and she is able to be brought into this world naturally, safely, and healthily. Thank you.
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